Category Archives: Serenity

Acceptance, Choice, Helpful, Helpful Thinking, Mindfulness, Mutual Aid, Necessity, Serenity, Stinking Thinking

Radical Acceptance – The First Step Toward Healing in Depression

In a 2019 study published in The Journal of Affective Disorders (DOI: 10.1016/j.jad.2019.07.035), researchers found that individuals who practiced acceptance-based coping strategies reported a 30% decrease in depressive symptoms over six months compared to those who used avoidance-based coping. This highlights a crucial reality: resisting painful emotions often intensifies suffering, whereas acknowledging them can lead to significant relief.

Imagine a person struggling with deep sadness due to a recent job loss. Instead of fighting their feelings by telling themselves they shouldn’t feel this way, they choose to sit with their emotions, allowing themselves to process the grief. Over time, this acceptance enables them to regain control over their thoughts, consider new opportunities, and move forward. This is the essence of Radical Acceptance, a core component of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that has transformed countless lives.

Researching and writing this article deeply resonated with me. Radical Acceptance was the first DBT technique that truly connected with me because I had come to rely on it in the period immediately following my intent to end my life. It was the foundation that helped me begin the process of healing, giving me the space to understand my emotions instead of being consumed by them. By embracing Radical Acceptance, I found a way to regain control, one moment at a time.

Why Fighting Reality Makes Depression Worse

“I shouldn’t feel like this. This isn’t fair. Why does this keep happening to me?” These thoughts might feel familiar to anyone struggling with depression. It is natural to resist painful emotions, to wish them away, or to believe that if we fight hard enough, we can overcome them by sheer willpower. However, this resistance often has the opposite effect, intensifying our distress and making it even harder to cope. Instead of alleviating suffering, resistance compounds it, leading to frustration, self-blame, and exhaustion.

Radical Acceptance, a core skill in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), provides an alternative path—not just conceptually but through empirically validated methods. Numerous studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of DBT in reducing emotional distress, improving distress tolerance, and enhancing emotional regulation. Research, such as a meta-analysis by Valentine, Bankoff, Poulin, Reidler, and Pantalone published in Clinical Psychology Review (2014), has shown that DBT interventions significantly decrease symptoms of depression and anxiety, supporting the role of Radical Acceptance in mental health treatment. 

By incorporating these scientifically-backed techniques, individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms and build resilience. one of resignation but of acknowledgment. Developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, DBT incorporates mindfulness and acceptance strategies rooted in both psychological research and Eastern contemplative practices. Studies have shown that acceptance-based approaches can significantly reduce emotional distress and increase psychological flexibility, making it easier to cope with difficult experiences. By fully recognizing reality without resistance, we can shift our energy from futile struggle to meaningful healing. This article will explore what Radical Acceptance is, how it alleviates depression, how it serves as a foundation for other coping strategies, and practical ways to cultivate and maintain it.

The Science Behind Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Radical Acceptance

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan in the late 1980s as a treatment for individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Over time, research has demonstrated its effectiveness in addressing a range of mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). One of DBT’s core pillars is Radical Acceptance, which has been shown to play a significant role in emotional regulation and distress tolerance.

Research Supporting DBT and Radical Acceptance

Numerous studies support the efficacy of DBT, particularly in reducing emotional distress and improving overall well-being. A 2006 study by Hayes, Luoma, Bond, Masuda, and Lillis published in Behavior Research and Therapy (DOI: 10.1016/j.brat.2005.06.006) found that individuals who practiced acceptance-based strategies, including Radical Acceptance, experienced a significant reduction in emotional suffering compared to those who engaged in suppression or avoidance. Similarly, a 2014 meta-analysis in Clinical Psychology Review reported that DBT-based interventions led to improvements in mood regulation and a decrease in self-harming behaviors.

A study conducted by Neacsiu, Rizvi, and Linehan (2010), titled “Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Use as a Mediator and Outcome of Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder,” found that patients who underwent DBT showed greater emotional resilience and improved distress tolerance. Their findings suggest that Radical Acceptance helps individuals break the cycle of avoidance, allowing them to process emotions more effectively rather than getting trapped in self-perpetuating cycles of resistance and frustration. 

The full study is available at https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2010.06.001. And found that patients who underwent DBT showed greater emotional resilience and improved distress tolerance. Their findings suggest that Radical Acceptance helps individuals break the cycle of avoidance, allowing them to process emotions more effectively rather than getting trapped in self-perpetuating cycles of resistance and frustration.

Why Radical Acceptance Works

From a psychological standpoint, Radical Acceptance reduces what is known as “secondary suffering”—the distress caused by resisting or suppressing emotions. When individuals accept their emotions as they are, they shift their focus from trying to control or eliminate their pain to managing it in healthier ways. This aligns with research in mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which emphasizes the importance of acknowledging emotions without judgment.

Furthermore, neuroscience has demonstrated that acceptance-based strategies can reduce activity in the amygdala—the brain’s fear and stress center—while increasing activation in the prefrontal cortex. A study by Goldin et al. (2010) published in Biological Psychiatry found that individuals practicing mindfulness and acceptance techniques showed decreased amygdala reactivity to negative stimuli, suggesting that these strategies enhance emotional regulation by shifting neural activity toward rational processing. This shift enables individuals to respond to distress with greater clarity and emotional control rather than impulsive reactivity. brain’s fear and stress center—while increasing activation in the prefrontal cortex, which governs rational thinking and problem-solving. This shift enables individuals to respond to distress with greater clarity and emotional control rather than impulsive reactivity.

Radical Acceptance, therefore, serves as both a philosophical approach and a scientifically supported method for improving mental health. By embracing reality as it is, individuals can cultivate greater emotional stability, resilience, and overall well-being.

What Is Radical Acceptance?

Radical Acceptance is the practice of fully acknowledging reality as it is, a concept deeply rooted in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan. Linehan introduced Radical Acceptance as part of a broader strategy to help individuals regulate emotions and tolerate distress without becoming overwhelmed. Drawing inspiration from both Western cognitive-behavioral therapy and Eastern mindfulness traditions, DBT integrates acceptance-based strategies to help individuals break cycles of avoidance and resistance. This approach has been particularly effective in treating borderline personality disorder, depression, and anxiety, as it enables individuals to fully engage with their emotions and circumstances without being controlled by them. without trying to deny, minimize, or change it. It is about seeing things clearly and allowing ourselves to experience emotions without judgment or resistance. This does not mean approval of suffering or accepting a miserable fate, but rather recognizing the present moment so that we can respond effectively.

What Radical Acceptance Is Not:
  • Not approving of suffering: Accepting something does not mean we like it or agree with it.
  • Not resigning to a miserable life: It is about reclaiming energy to create change, not giving up.
  • Not ignoring emotions: Acceptance allows emotions to be processed fully, preventing them from overwhelming us.
Resistance vs. Acceptance

Imagine waking up feeling deeply depressed.

  • Resistance Thought: “I hate that I feel this way. I shouldn’t be depressed. Why can’t I just be normal?” This response adds shame and frustration, making emotions feel even heavier.
  • Acceptance Thought: “I feel depressed today. This is my reality right now, and I can work with it.” This response removes unnecessary struggle, creating space for self-compassion and coping strategies.

Radical Acceptance does not eliminate pain, but it prevents additional suffering caused by resistance. By acknowledging our emotions without fighting them, we create a foundation for moving forward.

How to Achieve Radical Acceptance

Cultivating Radical Acceptance is an ongoing process that requires conscious effort and practice. It is not something that happens overnight but a skill that can be developed over time. Here are some key steps to achieve and maintain Radical Acceptance:

1. Acknowledge Reality as It Is

The first step in Radical Acceptance is to simply recognize what is happening in the present moment. This means allowing yourself to see reality without judgment or denial. When you find yourself resisting a situation, pause and remind yourself: This is what is happening right now.

2. Observe Your Thoughts and Emotions Without Judgment

Mindfulness is a crucial part of Radical Acceptance. Practice observing your thoughts and emotions as if you were watching clouds drift across the sky. Instead of getting caught up in judgments like this is terrible or I shouldn’t feel this way, try thinking, I notice that I am feeling sad right now.

3. Use Validation Techniques

Self-validation helps reinforce acceptance by acknowledging that your emotions and reactions make sense given your circumstances. Instead of dismissing your feelings, try statements like:

  • It’s understandable that I feel this way given what I’m going through.
  • This emotion is valid, even if it’s uncomfortable.
  • I can accept that this is how I feel in this moment.
4. Shift from “Why Me?” to “What Now?”

When we resist reality, we often get stuck in self-pity or frustration. Instead of asking Why is this happening to me? shift your focus to What can I do to take care of myself in this moment? This shift in perspective opens the door to constructive action rather than prolonged suffering.

5. Use Acceptance-Focused Mantras

Repeating simple phrases can help reinforce Radical Acceptance, such as:

  • It is what it is.
  • I don’t have to like this to accept it.
  • Fighting reality only increases my suffering.
  • I choose to work with what is, not what I wish it to be.
6. Practice Deep Breathing and Grounding Exercises

Physical techniques can help the body relax into a state of acceptance. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and grounding exercises like focusing on sensory experiences can shift the nervous system from resistance to calm acceptance.

7. Accept Incrementally When Full Acceptance Feels Impossible

Sometimes, fully accepting a painful situation feels overwhelming. In such cases, break it down into smaller steps:

  • Instead of saying I fully accept my depression, start with I accept that I am feeling depressed at this moment.
  • Take acceptance one moment at a time, allowing yourself to adjust gradually.
Using Radical Acceptance as a Springboard for Recovery

Radical Acceptance is not about surrendering to suffering but about using it as a foundation for change. Once we accept a situation fully, we can better understand it. And with understanding comes clarity—allowing us to process emotions, work through pain, and begin healing. Acceptance grants us the mental space to focus on solutions, whether that means seeking professional help, using coping strategies, or simply finding small ways to re-engage with life.

To accept something is to enable ourselves to understand it, and to understand it is to equip ourselves with the tools to move forward. When we remove resistance, we create space for growth, healing, and recovery. By embracing Radical Acceptance, we set the groundwork for transformation, allowing us to regain control over our emotional and mental well-being.

The Power of Letting Go of Resistance

Depression is painful enough on its own, and resisting reality only adds to the suffering. Many individuals believe that if they resist, deny, or fight against what they feel, they can somehow force it to disappear. However, this struggle often leads to greater frustration and self-defeating thoughts. Letting go of resistance does not mean embracing passivity—it means allowing reality to be what it is without additional self-imposed suffering.

When we stop fighting against reality, we gain the power to change it. This is the paradox of Radical Acceptance: when we let go of resistance, we open ourselves to new possibilities, emotional healing, and the ability to take purposeful steps forward. The journey to healing begins with a simple but profound truth—acceptance is the first step toward lasting change.

Acceptance, Choice, Courage, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Honesty, Mindfulness, Serenity

DBT Grounding Techniques – Part 4 Interpersonal Effectiveness

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Part 4: Interpersonal Effectiveness – Communicating with Clarity and Confidence

Relationships can be one of the biggest sources of both support and stress. When emotions run high, it’s easy to fall into patterns of people-pleasing, avoidance, or conflict—especially when struggling with anxiety or depression. Interpersonal Effectiveness teaches you how to communicate your needs clearly, set healthy boundaries, and maintain relationships without sacrificing your well-being.

By practicing these skills, you can navigate tough conversations with more confidence and build stronger, more balanced connections. Let’s explore some grounding techniques to help you stay present and intentional in your interactions.

Interpersonal effectiveness helps you navigate relationships in a way that balances your own needs with the needs of others. It focuses on building and maintaining healthy connections, while staying true to your values and boundaries. Below are grounding practices that help manage emotional intensity during interactions and promote balanced, effective communication.

1. DEAR MAN: A Framework for Effective Communication

DEAR MAN is a structured approach to expressing your needs clearly and calmly while maintaining relationships and reducing anxiety.

How to Practice:

  1. Describe
    • Start by stating the situation objectively, without emotion or judgment.
    • Example: “When you borrowed my book and didn’t return it on time…”
  2. Express
    • Share your feelings using “I” statements.
    • Example: “I felt frustrated because I needed it for my class.”
  3. Assert
    • Clearly state what you need or want.
    • Example: “I need you to return borrowed items by the agreed time.”
  4. Reinforce
    • Highlight the benefits of meeting your request.
    • Example: “This way, we can avoid misunderstandings in the future.”
  5. Mindful
    • Stay focused on your goal during the conversation, even if emotions arise.
    • Use phrases like “I understand your point, but…” to stay on track.
  6. Appear Confident
    • Speak with a steady voice, make eye contact, and avoid apologizing excessively.
  7. Negotiate
    • Be willing to find a middle ground if needed.
    • Example: “If Tuesday isn’t possible, can you let me know in advance?”

2. FAST: Upholding Self-Respect in Interactions

FAST is a tool to maintain your self-respect and integrity while engaging with others. It’s particularly useful for setting boundaries or navigating difficult conversations.

How to Practice:

  1. Fair
    • Be fair to yourself and the other person. Avoid self-blame or being overly harsh.
    • Example: “I understand you had a busy week, but I still need to address this.”
  2. Apologies
    • Avoid apologizing unnecessarily or for things beyond your control.
    • Example: Instead of saying, “I’m sorry for bringing this up,” say, “I’d like to discuss something important.”
  3. Stick to Values
    • Stay true to your core values, even if it feels uncomfortable.
    • Example: If honesty is important to you, say what needs to be said respectfully.
  4. Truthful
    • Be honest and avoid exaggerating or sugarcoating.
    • Example: Instead of saying, “You always do this,” say, “This has happened a few times, and it’s affecting me.”

3. Radical Acceptance: Letting Go of the Struggle

Radical acceptance is a practice of acknowledging and accepting situations as they are, without trying to fight reality. This can provide grounding in interpersonal conflicts or when emotions feel overwhelming.

How to Practice:

  1. Acknowledge the Situation:
    • Identify what is happening without judgment.
    • Example: “This person has different priorities than I do right now.”
  2. Accept the Reality:
    • Say to yourself, “It is what it is. I can’t change this situation, but I can choose how I respond.”
  3. Release the Struggle:
    • Let go of the desire for things to be different. This doesn’t mean you condone the situation, but you stop resisting it emotionally.
    • Example: Instead of fixating on someone’s behavior, shift your focus to how you’ll manage your feelings.
  4. Practice Self-Compassion:
    • Remind yourself that acceptance takes time and effort. Be kind to yourself if it feels difficult.

Combining Practices

These techniques can be used individually or together for more complex situations:

  1. Use DEAR MAN to effectively express your needs during a tough conversation.
  2. Apply FAST to maintain your self-respect and boundaries, ensuring you stay true to yourself.
  3. Practice Radical Acceptance if the situation cannot be resolved or changed, helping you ground yourself and let go of unnecessary emotional tension.
12 Step Meeting, Choice, Community building, Fellowship, Helpful, Helpful Thinking, Honesty, Mutual Aid, Powerlessness, Serenity, The 12 Steps

The Real Deal

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One of my favorite TV shows is the Antique Roadshow. Every piece of furniture, painting, pottery, etc., brought to the show, has its own unique history. Each piece is appraised as to its present value by professional art dealers. That is the basis of the show, to help people discover how much that old letter, old painting or anything else that they bring to the show. seeking its worth. They can discover if their painting is an original, the real deal, or just a copy, or even a forgery. It is rare that an original masterpiece is ever discovered. Even so, there are times when a very valuable piece is discovered. People who come to show their articles, know that they can at least find out if they have something of value.

In ancient Rome, there were many sculptors, who sculpted pieces of artistic beauty. At times, when a sculptor’s chisel took too much granite off his work of art, he would cover his mistake with wax. So, if an artist wanted to sell his piece of art, it had to be noted that the piece was sincere, that is, without wax. No covering up mistakes.

So when I say that I am sincere, I am telling you that I am telling the truth. I am telling you that there is no coverup in what I am saying. (sine cera in Latin = without wax). In other words, it’s the real deal.

In our recovery program, Depressed Anonymous, we thrive by being sincere. We learn that it is when we admitted that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable, that we began to thrive and freed ourselves from the prison of depression.

Please come and join us in this Depressed Anonymous Fellowship. It is here where we can share our past mistakes and shortcomings – and our strengths – no more wax jobs – and find peace abd strength with folks just like ourselves.

DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS
Our website at DepressedAnonymous.org, will provide you with all necessary information, directing you to our online daily ZOOM meetings. We offer two meetings a day. You are always welcome!

HUGH S., for the DA Fellowship

Honesty, Hope, Purpose, Serenity

Savor Life

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“If I had my life to live over I’d like to make more mistakes next time. I would relax. I would limber up. I would eat more ice cream and
less bans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I would have fewer imaginary ones. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.

I would have perhaps more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I would try to have nothing else. Just one day after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the Spring and stay that way later in the Fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.”

Editor’s note:
The author, Nadine, wrote this at the age of 85. She died in a Louisville, Kentucky, nursing home, at the age of 88.

Copyright (C) THE ANTIDEPRESSANT TABLET VOLUME 4 NUMBER 3 SPRING 1993

Community building, DA Literature, Higher Power, Honesty, Hope, Mutual Aid, Serenity, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03

My mind has a mind of its own

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One of our family’s favorite camping areas, is a small park that provides many positive experiences for those who love the outdoors. In fact, just the name of the park, brings to mind the days of the past. The park’s name, Buffalo Trace, let us know that thousands of buffalo roamed through this area, years ago, following a beaten path, that led to the open plains of the Dakotas. Even today, there is a physical trace of the path that once saw the presence of these large and majestic animals, crossing the continent of the United States.

Just like the physical trace of those many buffalo, moving along their annual travels, our human brain also creates familiar mind paths. All living beings are creatures of habit.

For example, because of a construction detour, I was forced to take a different route home from work. Guess what happens? My mind’s GPS is confused, everything looks different. Our mental map has changed. This new route to get home, has now been turned into a labyrinth, making a familiar way to return home, now becomes a major problem.

I like to think of our mind as the executor of various tasks, mental, emotional and physical, motivating us to accomplish the need at hand. But, if the human mind, continues to bombard us with those negative thoughts telling us how worthless and hopeless we are, over time, it becomes a veritable impossibility to make a change. Our continued negative thinking, has created a pattern of thinking about ourselves, which holds no hope for change. It is like our mind has created a neurological rut, where the mind has no choice but to stay the course. That is, to stay in the rut, to stay depressed, as there is no way out.

For any of us, to even think of changing one’s mind and behavior, can in itself, be frightening. The motivation and energy needed to change is no longer available. To change our hopeless thinking has reduced us to feel like a robot, losing our autonomy and all formerly meaningful relationships. A false belief has been created in our mind that there is no way out. We begin spiraling downward into that abyss of darkness and annihilation.

What we are describing here is a metaphor for all addictions, be that of a mind altering drug or a process addiction where the mind follows a thinking pattern, which fills our mind with painful thoughts, that we are hopeless, unacceptable to ourselves and others. We are initially unaware that this negative and self-bashing addictive form of thinking and feeling, is potentially a life threatening trap. This mind of our own, which now has become our misguided fellow traveler, tells us there is no hope and that we are powerless! We take this as a truth. We now feel like the hole in the doughnut. Empty, alone, and living as a prisoner of one’s own mind.

So, our mind does have a mind of its own, and when it veers off the path of sanity, of honesty and a willingness to want to change, we discover sadly that we have been led to a place where thriving is not a personal option. The good news for us is that my mind can choose a road that provides freedom and restoration. In time, and with help, I have come to the absolute truth, that our minds do have a mind of their own. I am grateful that I have made the right choice–a choice that says, “I Came to believe that a power, (an eternal MIND) greater than ourselves, that could restore us to sanity.”

“Hope is the oxygen for the soul.”

Hugh S., for the fellowship.

Please join with us at our daily program of recovery at: depressdanon.com. You will be happy that you made the right choice!

Acceptance, Affirmations, Belief, Believing Is Seeing, Courage, Ego Deflation, Fellowship, Helpful, Hope, Kindness, Love, Meditation, Pain, Prayer, Purpose, Serenity, Service, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03, Step 11, Suffering, The Promises

“…letting go of all illusion…”

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I am writing this prayer I wrote some five years back now for deeper peace and acceptance, during this challenging time I’m experiencing. Sharing this Hope in case I too can 0ffer Strength for others.
Affectionately, Janet M.

Thank you dear Creator of love and joy in action for the fellowship of your presence. Move me, I pray, for the Stillness of this Love. Why I abide there always gathering in your Strength, Peace and Wellbeing as kindling to feel the fire of your Spirit within. As I walk this path today, should I become disturbed return my heart to you. Purify my motives and direct my attention back into Awareness and Unity with your Spirit, which is the hand of Peace. Help me to offer kindness for the many Seeds of Blessings which feed my growing into Trueness of Being. Help me to understand your Passion in laughter, tears, joy and pain, knowing all of your Provision and how Precious that gift is that lies within the Earth of us all. Thank you for my children, family and friends. Bless ua your light, nurturing our hearts and strengthen our vision and relationships. May a seeming separateness burn up into the flames of letting go of all illusions while Liberating the Soul and setting Freedoms flight to soar and all resistance fall away. Gather us together, this day in Body, Mind and Spirit manifesting your Love. Amen.

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Hope, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Prayer, Serenity, The 12 Steps

Helen, gets it! “I have to take responsibility for my own life.”

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The following excerpt is from a letter that Helen wrote to the Depressed Anonymous fellowship about her recovery from depression.

Her story is just one of the many stories, relating their recovery from depression, found in the Personal Stories section of Depressed Anonymous Pages 110-152.

“Now that I look back and see the way I was and see now how I am now,
I can’t believe that I ever knew that other person. This person is different altogether. I like this person now very much. I am thankful to the group. They are just wonderful. They are my family. They are my Depressed Anonymous family. I also have my church family. It is a wonderful feeling to know that there is a Higher Power that can take you through these things. At first, I thought, “I doubt that very much” when everyone was talking about the Higher Power and peace in my life. Then it happened to me. Every few days, the world dumps down on you and beats you down. That’s my life. I always think to myself that there is that extra strength that I didn’t have before. I feel that everything is going to be OK with me. I have that peace now myself.”

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous (1998) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. pp 145-148.

12 Step Meeting, Community building, Ego Deflation, Fellowship, Focus, Meditation, Mindfulness, Prayer, Serenity, Spirituality, Step 11

Re-Mind/Rewind and Re-Member

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Janet M., who is a member of our Depressed Anonymous Fellowship, has submitted this post.

“Speaking here of mental activity, aka thoughts/ feelings and perception, pay attention to the condition of the content that separates us from our true Being ness. Step work in Depressed Anonymous is very revealing with the inventory of ourselves all throughout the work. Our interiority is nakedly exposed. Absolutely so necessary to uncover. Regarding Step 11, I suggest that to step back now from mind and a seemingly separate false self identity, surrender into the heart to rewind into emptiness. Recognize the true nature of Divine peace, happiness and harmony. The Kingdom of heaven within that Christ Consciousness spoke of. Refocusing the mind from objective experience awareness, simply being aware as awareness itself. Perform an investigation of what is it that is aware of my experience? Being aware of the mind, body and world is a re-mind experiencing so to speak. Then coming into an investigation of “I Am” inventory this identification and bring this awareness into the emptiness. Rest in peace now as the natural true SELF and find perhaps you had simply just fell asleep from the mind’s veiling of Reality. You are this Reality of Beingness, Divine Consciousness itself. Now re-member the SELF back into PRESENCE.”

Affectionately,
Janet M.

Janet is a member of the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous, a 12 Step program of Recovery

12 Step Meeting, Depressed Anonymous, Faith, Fellowship, Higher Power, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Serenity, Spirituality, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps

When more is revealed

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This blog was submitted by Janet M.

“There is a profound and intriguing statement that says ‘that more will be revealed.’ I believe we each have a personal experience with this call of the wild dynamic, so to speak. I felt as if I were being invited into an investigation, and its results would effortlessly appear, without any help from my mind or outside activities. In other words, beyond a body, mind and physical reality.

With no control on my part, the Higher Power would be the master of this destiny. How exciting! I just had to believe. With addiction, my poor mind was so limited with its awareness.

The same sad movie kept playing. Depressed Anonymous provided some helpful tools, with the Law of Three, Sunspots, to make an ending and an opening. A portal for peace was the liberation that I needed. I thought that I longed for peace of mind, but what was revealed was this peace didn’t belong to mind, but to me as my true nature.

With falsely identifying myself as my felt past experiences, with feeling a victim/failure/etc, or the pain body, or as Eckhart Tolle labels it, I was at a dead end. As Rupert Spira points out, you can’t see the screen if you are staring at the the movie.”

Affectionately
Janet M., a member of the Depressed Anonymous 12 Step fellowship

Community building, Dep-Anon: Family and friends, Fellowship, Focus, Helpful Thinking, Mutual Aid, Purpose, Serenity, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps

Two sides of the same coin

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As an active member of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship, I am also an active member of the 12 Step recovery program, Dep-Anon, for families and friends of the depressed.

Since I have a family member who is depressed, and the fact that I was depressed, but still maintain my serenity, by continuing to stay active in the DA fellowship. You might say that I am a “double dipper” being able to be part of two important mutual aid groups. Not only do I know what happens when I am depressed, I also know depression and how it affects a family member, resultant, affecting the whole family.

Now that I have the help of other family members (Dep-Anon) who have a depressed significant other in their life, my focus now is not on the depressed loved one, but the focus is now totally on me. I have become a new person, in that at one time I was harsh and critical of this person, who slept all the time, didn’t work, and was oblivious to the suffering she was causing myself and my family.

I believed, mistakenly, that since I had experienced depression with its overwhelming power, pushing me deeper into isolation from my world and myself, that I was qualified to FIX my family member. Wrong. I tried that route. It was a disaster. My criticism and cajoling her did the opposite of bringing her out of depression. My focus and anger, as it was directed toward her, locked her deeper into the prison of her depression. Ultimately, I discovered that my negsativity and lack of acceptance into the family, did nothing but harm. Surprisingly, now, with my harshness changing to compassion and acceptance of her as a daughter, a fellow humn being, brought down by her illness, is setting us both free. I give credit to my Dep-ANon fellowship for putting me on the right track–work/focus on fixing me.
Hugh

ORIGINS OF DEP-ANON
Dep-Anon had as its inspiration the 12 Step Al-Anon program for families of the alcoholic. The program was focused, not on the alcoholic but on themselves.

We now became focused on our need for recovery, believing that the focus had to be on us — not the depressed family member. I have learned that I can only FIX myself. Being part of the Dep-Anon family group presented me with a focus on my own spiritual and mental health needs. Now, I am participating With other family members, using the recovery tools of Dep-Anon, I was no longer alone, but now had the support of other family members like myself. Together, we have discovered that by focusing on our character defects ( critical of our loved one, anger at their behavior, lack of compassion for someone who is sick) I have found my attitudes changing.

A positive result of being part of the Dep-Anon family group is to learn about the nature of depression and how it affects a person, physically, mentally and spiritually. Our motivation to do anything positive to move us out of the mental and physical “lockdown” of depression is severely handicapped.

Dep-Anon espouses the four C’s which state our beliefs about NOT taking responsibility for our loved one’s depression. These four can be a constant reminder of living each day with what we face.

THE FOLLOWING ARE OUR FOUR STATEMENTS OF BELIEF

  1. I believe that that I didn’t cause it.
  2. I believe that I can’t control it.
  3. I believe that I can’t cure it.
  4. I believe that all I can do is to cope with it.

Copyright(c) Dep-Anon: A Twelve Step Recovery Program for Families and Friends of the Depressed. (2021) Hugh S., Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 13.
This Book can be ordered online from the depressedanonymous.org website. PLease go to Visit the Store at Home page.

Join us on ZOOM, every Monday afternoon, at 2PM EDT. Meetings are 1 Hour in length.

MEETING ID: 846 6885 1123
PASSWORD : serenity (lower case)